I have been spending a lot of time visiting Grammer in the hospital. She is not coming out now. She is going to stay there until we can find some sort of hospice for her to go into, which we can hardly afford as it is. One day William came with me and we looked at her all hooked up to machines to do her breathing and with a catheter bag leaking piss and all bruised and battered where she has had tubes sticking in her. I asked if he would come to see me in hospital if I looked like that. He said, in a very small voice, something that sounded suspiciously like "No". I don't blame him.

I have also been spending some time helping Molly take care of the baby. She has had another spectacular row with Sam and kicked him out of the house (but they do that all the time, give it another week and he will have moved back in.) Young Deacon cries all night and needs his nappy changing every five minutes, it is a pain in the arse - and a baby is the EASY part, what will happen when he's a toddler? Or a teenager? I don't envy Molly one bit. However, my visit to her has quelled my suspicions that the baby might not be Sam's. He is definitely Sam's. He looks exactly like Sam, just as gormless and half witted and ugly. His first words will probably be "where's me faaaaaaaaaaaaaackin' dinner Molly, I'm off dahn the pub innit" like his dad. Sam will be moving to Lancashire next month, as he starts uni there in September. I asked Molly if she's going to go with him. She replied in the negative, but I know her and I know she'll go.

One of Rachel's friends killed himself yesterday. We had a phone call in the afternoon and she spent two hours in her room sobbing and listening to emo music, then a further three hours tying up the phone lines with calls and emails to her friends. I'd never met this kid, but apparently he was Rachel's age and cut his wrists in bed, just like in the film Scum. Rachel also has at least two other acquaintances who have attempted suicide and several more who have therapists and counsellors or are on anti - depressants. And someone at her school collapsed a while ago because she was addicted to prescription drugs and took an overdose. Is it me, or is it very, very wrong for a 13 - year - old to have to grow up thinking this is normal? There was one girl in my school who had attempted suicide, but at least she was older. She cut her wrists as well and went through a tendon and when she went to collect an award in assembly her hands were all shaky and it was really sad. Rachel threw a tantrum because Mum said her friend must have been maized or he wouldn't have done it. She cheered right up today though, because her dad took her to a Foo Fighters concert they'd booked to go and see. I love the Foo Fighters. She phoned me and they had Monkey Wrench blaring in the background, which is one of my all - time favourite songs.

To cheer myself up, I went round to William's for Sunday lunch and we played You Be The Judge against Wanker Miles and Fat Laura. You Be The Judge is a board game (in America it's called "Judge For Yourself") where one team reads out the specifics of a court case and the other team decides which way the court voted. After a while his parents joined in so we had three teams. They won, but anyone could beat Miles and Laura because they are thick as pigs in shit.

Went down to the hospital to see Grammer. She was asleep, so I left. She had the room to herself for several weeks, which was nice, but then they moved in a 10 - year - old girl who's been in a car crash. She sleeps most of the time and her mum sits by her bed and swears at anyone who dares raise their voice above a whisper. They're from Bristol, the bastards. I hope they leave soon. Going to the pub now for a drink with Molly and the baby (does she care about exposing her newborn to an environment full of toxic cigarette smoke? Does she hell.) It's been a long day.

Woke up this morning to find my face has swelled up like a giant fucking balloon, and I don't know why. My eyes have puffed up so much I can hardly see to type this. I haven't been crying or got hit in the face, and I took some ibuprofen before bed, which is supposed to reduce swelling. I wouldn't think it's an eye infection because this is both eyes, and the rest of my face as well. Might be an allergic reaction? I'll go to the walk - in just in case.

So, how is everyone? Exams are over, so I've moved out of halls. I'm back in good ol' Zummerzet and staying with my mum for the time being. Molly's baby was born in the wee hours of the 17th May (following previous entry), she has named it "Deacon" like she said she was going to. God help that poor child when he goes to school.

Haven't been doing very much really except generally hanging about and being myself. Went to see the remake of The Omen yesterday with William, Wanker Miles and Fat Laura. It's nowhere near as good as the original. Fat Laura kept shrieking like a girl and covering her eyes (well, I know she is a girl, but it's offputting) and Miles whinged on about me slurping my drink until I said I'd pour it over his head if he didn't shut up.

Grammer's still in hospital and I think that's it really. Signing off to go do nothing at all.

News, news! Molly has just phoned me to say she's gone into labour. I said I was happy for her (well, what ELSE was I supposed to say?) and asked when she would be going to hospital. I haven't had a baby, so I don't know how long it takes. Aren't the contractions supposed to be two minutes apart? She said she had to go into hospital RIGHT NOW. I told her if she really was giving birth then and there, ie. the head was appearing or whatever, she should call 999 but otherwise Sam should take her to hospital. She said he'd gone out drinking and she couldn't reach his mobile, so I suggested calling a taxi but she apparently can't afford one. I expressed disbelief that she could have failed to put aside cash for a taxi fare in the seven months she's had to get ready for the birth, and still she insisted NO she could not have a taxi. Her parents both live in Newcastle, so they were no use, and she told me all her friends were either miles away, unreachable and/or had no transport. In desperation I told her I'd call back in five minutes and then, praying his parents would be out, I phoned William's house (his mobile was switched off) to ask him to send a cab for her, pay the driver and I would send him the money in the post. Instead, bloody Miles answered the phone and shouted at me because their parents have told me not to call until after William's GCSEs. So THEN I phoned Molly back and she said it was OK because she'd just called an ambulance. I ask you, what a total waste of resources. That ambulance could be going to a really serious accident or an old person who's fallen down the stairs, but no, it's gone to Molly who does not need it and has hours to go before she actually gives birth, just because she is too cheap to pay for a taxi. She is my best friend, and I love her, but she drives me bananas sometimes.

But, let's look on the bright side! The baby is coming! Not long now until she is Mummy and I am Auntie Megan! I have an exam in the morning but I'll phone before I leave to see how she is.

I evidently don't have a bat's chance in hell of passing next week's exams, so it looks like I'm going to have to give up three weeks more of my summer to do expensive resits that we can't afford. Oh, joy.

Following tonight's Doctor Who, I've decided to write a great big crossover wih Star Wars. And it is not going to be stupid like some crossovers are. It's going to kick arse. It's perfectly plausible and it will not rape canon; the Doctor travels through space time, so it's not such a stretch to picture him arriving a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. And we all want to see the Jedi fighting the Cybermen and the Doctor involved in a battle to the death with the Emperor. The Daleks will be involved as well and the Doctor will be Four, accompanied by Sarah Jane and K9. I've got the beginnings of a plot outline already, now to start work.

EDIT: Look! The Doctor has MySpace! AND he added me to his friends list! This makes me a very happy bunny!

It's been busy here. The examiners' strike has NOT earned me a reprieve, so I'm still preparing to sit bloody papers next week. Then I will be free to do kool RP stuff, although I'm trying to FINALLY send in my applications for CP!Greyback and CQ!Fleur tonight.

To take my mind off, Taken from tentainokonton:

Write down 12 people from any fandom (and if you didn't know who I'd choose you don't know me very well, do you!) before going into the cut. Using the twelve, answer the questions in your own LJ post.

1. First Doctor
2. Second Doctor
3. Third Doctor
4. Fourth Doctor
5. Fifth Doctor
6. Sixth Doctor
7. Seventh Doctor
8. Eighth Doctor
9. Ninth Doctor
10. Tenth Doctor
11. Adric
12. The Master

( Under the cut )

Comment and I will send you a letter. Then you come up with ten words starting with that letter that is significant to you.

losile gave me D. So, without further ado:

Doctor Who. My all time favourite TV show.

The Doctor. Main character from said TV show.

David Tennant. Scottish actor who plays Tenth Doctor on said TV show.

Daleks. One of the Doctor's main enemies from said TV show. For the uninitiated, they look like giant robotic salt and pepper shakers and they are infamous for charging about waving a sink plunger in the air and going "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" and "I OBEY!" They are handicapped by their inability to climb stairs, but in the last series they learned to fly instead.

Davros. Creator of the Daleks.

Danish pastries. Because they're delicious.

Deleterius. (deleterius) LJ community to which I am a regular visitor, devoted to mocking fanfic Sues and Stus in the Harry Potter and LOTR fandoms.

Dominican Republic. I went on holiday here when I was three. It was probably the only real foreign holiday I've ever been on. Wish I could remember it.

Dena. (denajane) Roleplaying chum who gave losile this meme which was then passed on to me.

Daffodils. A flower of which I'm particularly fond.

It's Bank Holiday here. Usually I hate Bank Holidays, but it also means I'm not at school, so I am happy. Hooray!

And as I'm not at school, I got the chance to phone Molly for a nice long chat. Her baby is due at the end of this month. She says the first thing she's going to do after the birth is go out and buy several pairs of new shoes because "she hasn't seen her feet for so long." I think that's an exaggeration, and the fact remains that she and Sam don't earn much and what they do earn is going to have to be spent on nappies and baby bottles and things - Molly refuses to breastfeed because the notion of something feeding off her is her idea of a fate worse than death. I told her that means she will have to use an expressing machine or whatever it's called and she said "Yeah, I know." I don't think she does know, but it's her problem, not mine. I'm beginning to worry about Rachel now. She is apparently seeing a 17 - year - old boy who works in Claire's Accessories, I mean what kind of teenage boy wants to work in a shop like that unless he's trying to pick up really young girls? She says he's a gawth type and probably enjoys being around the makeup and body jewellery, but I'm not convinced. I'm not going to say anything to Mum just yet, but I might have to make a trip home one weekend and get a look at Rachel's boyfriend.

Is it just me, or are those AA ads really creepy? The sight of hundreds of torch - bearing numptys swarming through the mist singing You've Got A Friend would make me want to run for my life, even if I HAD just broken down on a deserted mountain road.

Why have I just seen a roleplay that contained a 30 - page porn log between Snape and Rita Skeeter? OK, the game is AU, but there's a difference between the AU and the just plain weird.

In addition, why was this game's Vicky Frobisher in Slytherin, why do Fred and George Weasley run a sex shop called "Weasleys' Wank Mart", and why does their Susan use Kerry Katona as a PB? The mind, it boggles.